“If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable—each segment distinct.” —Letty Cottin Pogrebin “Diversity: the art of thinking independently, together.” —Malcolm Forbes Independence: It’s the American Way In 2010, I took an adult-education course at Northwestern University, titled “Families in the 21st Century.” My…
DetailsOnly with Forgiveness In some instances, it will take more than shared delight over a new baby to wipe away years of contentiousness or resentment or to reopen lines of communication that have long been clogged. The reality is, some stumbling blocks in our relationships with our adult children may be products of a past…
DetailsI’ve discovered that a grandparent’s deep love for their grandchildren and a commitment to connecting with them and their world, can foster an improved family synergy across the board, enriching my relationship with the parents of those amazing grandkids: my daughter, Ellen, and my son, Michael, and their respective spouses. It hasn’t always been easy,…
DetailsGet The Grandest Love: Inspiring the Grandparent-Grandchild Connection now in time for Father’s Day! Google ‘grandma’ and you get 113 million results; ‘grandpa’, only 63.5 million. Both numbers are astronomical, but in the world of kids and cuddlies, women still rule. (see original article here: http://patch.com/illinois/deerfield/using-your-secret-executive-grandparenting-power-enrich-whole-family-0 ) But, the truth is, being a grandparent tugs at…
DetailsBeing a grandparent makes me think of a Hasidic proverb that says “Old age to the unlearned is winter. Old age to the learned is harvest time.” Grandparents entering your grandchild’s world is your harvest time. As I head off to New York for a conversation at the JCC Manhattan with Rabbi Joy Levitt on “The…
DetailsUntil very recently, I was calling the love a grandparent has for their grandchildren “unconditional love.” In talking with my son and others, I realized that many, including parents, may qualify their love for their children as unconditional. Now I realize the better word is “mature” love. Earlier this month I attended an event presented…
DetailsI never really knew my grandparents. My Grandma Lynette, the only grandparent alive when I was born, died when I was only four. My family has a canon of hilarious stories about Lynette, an intensely opinionated woman with four former husbands. But my foggy memories of her are merely the minty taste of Kellogg’s Grasshopper…
DetailsFor TLC, Tender Loving Communication, with our adult children, someone has to make the first move. If it seems it’s hard to find time to chat, whether by phone or in person (pick up one child from swimming at 3:30 with just enough time to pick up the other at karate, before heading home to…
DetailsThanks to increased longevity, many of us may actually have 40 or more years to participate in the lives of our grandchildren! And that’s not the good news. Living near each other (or having the means to undertake regular visits) is no longer essential to maintaining close family ties, thanks to burgeoning communications technologies and…
DetailsAs a family psychologist, I was struck by the fact there is often a key factor missing in society’s conversations about what makes individuals and families, and especially children, thrive: our deep need for intergenerational love and support—even in a determinedly self-reliant culture and digital age. Grandparents matter. Jerry Witkovsky gets this, and as a…
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